Sometimes there are things in life that just monstrously suck. No bones about it. And most often, these things happen to other people. Because they happen to other people it is easy to mouth platitudes. Now I am well aware that people don't know what to say and so they often say stupid things. They don't mean to be hurtful, they just are.
I am sorry if this sounds "harsh" but I really don't give a rats ass at the moment. Someone I love is hurting, body, mind and soul and people saying stupid things or mouthing platitudes makes her feel like she needs to keep up the "cheery cancer patient" facade.
Let me tell you, she doesn't have the time or energy to spend on making YOU feel better about HER cancer!!!Because it isn't OK, it sucks beyond comprehension. It is terrifying, relentless, painful, and debilitating.
If you don't know what to say, that's OK. Sometimes there are no words.
There are good, solid, practical ways you can show your love and support.
Send a card that might make her laugh.
Send gift cards for the grocery store, the pharmacy or the place she loves to get take out.
Send flowers, a fruit basket or a meal for the freezer.
But above all, please, think before you speak.